Despite this article's title I really do love wine and food
from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well.
And who among us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine
and many, many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my
top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship. Previous
articles discussed the unconscionable expense, the
embarrassing lack of knowledge, no wine cellar, I can't get
the ... bottle opened, insomnia, food problems, wine
snobs, and the smells and tastes of wine, and wine colors.
This article discusses home brew and the solution.
Why am I not a fan of home-made wine? To make it short and
sweet I have never tasted a home-made wine that didn't
taste like a home-made wine. When you know a little bit
about the complexities of wine production, it's hard to
believe that you can go to a store, buy liquid concentrate,
pour it into bottles, squeeze on an ill-fitting cork, and
in two months (or is it two weeks?) obtain a quality
product. I know that I may be exaggerating somewhat, but
the truth remains. History shows that time and time again
dedicated amateurs have stood up to and even surpassed the
professionals. But non-dedicated amateurs?
I think we can make an exception for people whose family
have been making wine for generations. They may get their
grapes from a brew-your-own outfit, especially if they live
in a city apartment. But they don't just add water, stir,
wait a few weeks and expect to get better than Grandpa's
wine, except perhaps for the last batch he made when he was
going blind and tried to push up the alcohol level with
salt instead of sugar. In conclusion, brew your own
beer-maybe, wine-never.
There is one more problem with wine, but it's none of your
business.
And now for the Solution. I have been told that the
solution to these problems is to forego drinking wine and
move on to mineral water, tofu drinks, or even single-malt
Scotch. To which I reply, never. Now if you'll please
excuse me there's this special bottle that I've been
meaning to open for a long time. It was quite expensive,
I'm not sure of its grapes varieties, it hasn't been
cellared, I know I'll have trouble opening it, I won't
sleep tonight, there's nothing but day-old pizza in the
fridge, the guy in the wine store turned up his nose when I
bought it, my nose is plugged and my color chart is nowhere
to be found, but it's not home brew and I know I'm going to
enjoy it. This might even tempt me to write a series on the
top ten reasons I love wine. (But not the wine scene.)
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Over the years Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten
books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he
would rather just drink fine German or other wine,
accompanied by the right foods. He teaches a variety of
computer classes at an Ontario French-language community
college. Check out his global wine website is
http://www.theworldwidewine.com with a new weekly column
reviewing $10 wines.
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