It's true; I really do love wine and food from Italy,
France, Germany, and other countries as well. And who among
us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine and many
aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten
reasons for this love-hate relationship. Previous articles
discussed the unconscionable expense, the embarrassing lack
of knowledge, no wine cellar, I can't get the ... bottle
opened, insomnia, and food problems. This article
discusses those obnoxious wine snobs that infest the wine
scene.
Ask any hobbyist. The nicest people are his or her fellow
trap shooters, crap shooters, tiddly-winks players, 18th
Century fountain pen collectors, or you name it. Don't be
shocked, I can't believe wine fanciers (snobs?) are nicer,
more cultured, or more generous than trap shooters, crap
shooters, your run-of-the-mill plonk imbibers, or, perish
the thought, abstainers. They may not be worse, but they
are certainly not better than the others. Wine fanciers are
probably richer or at least start richer than most others,
and they do have some special, shall we say, gifts. Who
else beside wine fanciers can find ten different aromas and
twelve different tastes in three ounces of dross? And the
haughtiness, "You thought it was a 1982, any fool... ". To
be fair I never heard those exact terms. But I do know what
they were thinking.
My apologies to my betters; I do not and absolutely can not
remember every glass of wine that I ever emptied. I
remember some of the best and I can't forget some of the
worst. But as far as the vast middle ground goes, why
should I bother to clutter my precious store of memories? I
am not a psychologist, but I have heard of a mental
disorder (don't take this as a technical term) called total
recall. An individual blessed, or should we say cursed,
with total recall can remember every word of an
insignificant conversation that took place two or twenty
years ago. This brings certain wine snobs to mind. To them
I say, why don't you get a life. The ability to recall and
in some ways regenerate pleasurable memories on demand is
great, if you don't overdo it. Here are the other reasons
that I hate wine, to be explored shortly: Those smells and
those tastes, Those colors, Home brew, One more problem and
yes, The Solution.
----------------------------------------------------
Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on
computers and the Internet, but between you and me, he
prefers drinking fine German or other wine, accompanied by
the right foods and the right people. He teaches classes in
computers at an Ontario French-language community college.
Check out his global wine website is
http://www.theworldwidewine.com with a new weekly column
reviewing $10 wines.
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